New Year's Resolution

I was losing in lane. One misplay, another one, and I died. Again, and again, and again. Laning against Galio as a Fizz is unplayable, at least at the bottom 97th percentile player in League of Legends. I could barely hear the muffled banging of the fireworks as people were typing “Happy New Year!” in game. It was quite funny. I found solace in being inside on New Year’s, playing a game I ~~hate~~ ~~love~~ tolerate with my friend. However, was I on the Rift by choice?

Looking Back on 2024

2024 was a great year! I got together with my beautiful partner, we got a place together, and indirectly through her, I got my current job as a Junior Developer. I’ve got to experience The Christmas Experience! I have never really celebrated Christmas properly - my family would go for a nice family meal without meeting the extended family, no mash potatoes with turkey and gravy, and no presents! (I’m not counting the presents I got before 5; I was barely conscious. Sorry :p)

I have met tons of great people and made new friends. All of them (including you!) have better my year, in addition to changing me. I have been reminded to be grateful, to strive, to care, to be supportive. I am a mosaic of everyone I’ve ever loved, even for a heartbeat. I realised I am an amalgamation of every person I have shared experienced with, and I am beyond grateful I get to bring them everywhere I go.

On another note, I have been building my skills in web development, too. I used Next.js, learned and fell in love with SvelteKit v4, internalised a11y considerations. More recently, I’ve been using PHP and Laravel for a client project, and still coming into terms with SvelteKit v5. I have learned how to work in teams, used project management tools, and the git feature-branch workflow. I have learnt a lot of things, and I am excited to learn more this year.

One thing I realised I don’t like. I am a slave to addiction. Two monsters have a chokehold over me, especially during the later parts of the year: The Algorithm and nicotine. The Algorithm more specifically refers to short-form content, but long-form content also applies here.

I found myself mindlessly scrolling to “relax” before bed. Before I know it, 2 hours has passed, my brain is still wired, and going to sleep is a chore. Whenever I have free time to do nothing, I have filled it with either YouTube shorts, IG Reels, or scrolling X the Everything App. The first thing I do when I wake up is to take a sip of water, and check Twitter. Was there anything important I’m looking at? Most of the time, not really. Just the sweet, sweet, dopamine release that wasn’t even that great looking back.

Same with nicotine. While I’m on the Rift, every chance I get I take a hit off my vape. On my way to work, back from work, to the grocery store. While I’m doom scrolling!

The crucial part is that I did this mostly out of habit. I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t make any explicit intention to smoke, or to scroll. I just did. This is the main thing I want to tackle in 2025.

Doing Things with Intention

In 2025, my sole resolution is to do things with intention. What does this entail? Well, for starters, recognising which of my actions are habits; which of them I do without thinking. Reactions. Once I recognise it, I am able to make a decision on whether I want to do it, or I don’t. Do I want to let my addiction win this time? If so, for how long? I want to have an intention, even while giving into the addiction - take responsibility of my action.

Hopefully this will result in me taking action that I know, deep down, I want to take. Whether it’d be spending time writing a blog, planning a date night, refusing to scroll at night, or even rolling a cigarette on a night out.

Happy new year! Best wishes to you all! Message me your favourite moment in 2024 (or a permanent job offer *wink*) if you’re here 😚.